I’m familiar with mandala in the form of intricate Buddhist paintings or sand drawings, but I don’t know much about their significance. Could you point me to any resources?
I don’t have a specific resource — but my understanding is like this: the form requires a significant amount of work, attention to detail, and time. Then, at the end, it’s left to blow away in the wind (or even in some cases just swept up). I look at them as a reminder that sometimes, the effort alone is the value of any endeavor — the end product is just that, an end.
When you describe the sheer amount of effort involved in putting your photos together, only for them to sit on a hard drive or be published online, I think of all that you accomplished just to get to that point (physical, mental, and digital effort) — and I think there’s a serious value in that!
Strong essay, Erik. So glad to continue to follow along in your quest for self-actualization. Really! And adding philosophy and history into your hikes has been delightful. Don’t worry about the fixed deadline—that’s just another trap. However, I must admit, the negativity of your opening paragraphs left me a little concerned… Hang in there. We are counting on you as one of the ones who carries the light for us all!
Wow, Jonathan, that means so much to me! The negativity, I think, is accurate in the sense that I tried to convey my feelings about our ‘modern’ way of life and my attempts to break free from it that so far have led nowhere. I was trying to illustrate the necessity to change and evolve going forward. I hope that came through as well. Thanks for your support my friend!
Wow this was powerful stuff. Especially this line, "ensnared in a self generated spiderweb of policy spun by the arachnid of fear." It'll stick with me. And its a perfect summation of how people operate nowadays...driven by fear. The first few paragraphs reminded me of why and how I got into death work. I think it's admirable you're trying to carve your way through that dark forest, rather than stay on the easier road. I hope you find, or create, whatever purpose means the most to you! Purpose has always felt like a slippery trap....who decides what purpose is? The creators of that easy road? Or used? I think it's us...or I hope so anyway!!
I'd be down for whatever you write, so if you end up editing the format or frequency of your pieces here....awesome!! It's super tough sticking to a weekly deadline and I'm in awe you were able to do that!!
Yeah, in my line of work we have a mountain of policy, rules, mandates, etc. It makes everything we do infinitely more difficult just because of all the boxes we’ve created for ourselves that must be checked. And all of that is because someone somewhere screwed up, but people are too afraid to have a policy that just says “act reasonably.”
You’re right on in that we create our own purpose. But I do think that has to be taken in context with the roles that we are assigned and choose for ourselves. So yes, I’m trying to find a better path, but I still have to balance that with my responsibilities to my family, my chosen career, etc. I guess the purpose I’m looking for is a way to make the photography/writing/adventuring valuable enough to others to keep it a high priority.
Anyway, that you for your thoughts! Bouncing these ideas around is really helpful!!
Of course- I dont mean to be flippant when I say "hooray go create your purpose, and all practical responsibilities be damned!" More like, how can we create purpose/meaning within the context of those chosen roles, as you so well articulated here in your comment.
I think a lot of that confusion over that nuance is what leads to a lot of folks in my generation feeling so lost...but who knows.
“And always pay taxes. Because your government is a generous master and only demands 40% of all of your efforts to hand out to special interests and to fund foreign wars.”
You must be doing well, Erik. The fed tax rate on $609K income is only 37%!
“Having a weekly deadline for Field Notes posts has been incredibly helpful in holding myself accountable. However, it is an enormous amount of pressure. I’m not sure that I can sustain it much longer. Many of my essays have been rushed and my ideas not fully formed or implemented. I don’t like that. I’ll still try to publish essays as often as I can, but I want to take more time with them. I want them polished before I offer them. The same goes for the photography.”
100%! I think a rigid publication schedule is a good antidote to “procrastination” but toxic to deep creativity. Go with the flow and allow fallow periods to recharge the artist’s soul.
Right. That’s a dilemma without simple answers. Maybe setting the “schedule” publish points a bit farther apart (definitely not weekly for the kind of essays you’re doing)?
A beautiful essay! I’ve found Mark Nepo’s book, Drinking from the River of Light, to be helpful in figuring out how philosophy and art intersect. He comes from a Buddhist perspective but so much of it aligns nicely with Stoicism.
The flame azalea! I was first introduced to it this past year during a bike ride at Tsali in early May, so around 1800’ elevation. I then saw a few blooming along the Bartram trail May 7, where it follows the gravel road between Wayah Rd at the power generation station and the surge tank- around 2900’. And then I saw them blooming along the Snowbird ridge at 4500+’ June 22. It led me to think their bloom time is very tied to elevation. The Robbinsville (2100’) Flame Azalea festival is held middle of June, so I assume that’s sometime around when they are expected to peak in the area.
Yeah, flame azalea and the catawba rhododendron are both spectacular, but the bloom dates are very dependent on elevation. I looked for the rhododendron in May one year in the Middle Prong Wilderness and it was way too early. I've found them in Shining Rock in early June, but these trips to the Smokies in mid/late June were perfect. Its very hard for me to judge, living about 3 hours south at 700-800ft.
Erik, I appreciated this recap! Scrolling through reminded me of all your essays I read in 2025. The other day, I took down your calendar and replaced it with a 2026 one. It was kind of sad but rest assured, I never throw out calnedars 😊
I felt your sense of disillusionment at the beginning of this post and I can totally understand. You do way more work than the average Substacker because you have to go take the photos and then work with them before you even start writing. I'm amazed that you've been able to keep up with a weekly post schedule!
Happy new year. I hope 2026 offers you some clarity in your photography journey.
Thanks Kristi! That post took on kind of a negative tone that I didn’t entirely intend. Don’t get me started on the calendar situation. It was such a shame. I spent a ton of time this year and created a beautiful custom calendar that I was really proud of. But the only site I could find that would allow me to offer it by drop shipping would not explain how to do that on their platform. And I would have been left to figure out shipping costs entirely on my own. It was just too much for me and the calendar never became a reality.
Your encouragement means a lot. I’m still working hard to offer meaningful photos and writing, just not sure what form or timing that will take.
Sort of, I guess. I re-published a couple of older pieces, so haven’t put out much new since finishing the Bartram series. That was good, because December is overwhelming lately!
December was totally overwhelming! I totally get it! And I entered the month with a killer flu. I'm glad 2025 is done, and we get a fresh start. I realize a calendar page doesn't make it fresh but the symbolism of a new year is legit.
“There must be a higher purpose to all of this than just a fun personal hobby.”
Erik, are you familiar with the concept of a “mandala?” If not, it might resonate/click with what you’re feeling right now.
Great round-up — excited to see how your photography (and writing) continue to evolve!
I’m familiar with mandala in the form of intricate Buddhist paintings or sand drawings, but I don’t know much about their significance. Could you point me to any resources?
I don’t have a specific resource — but my understanding is like this: the form requires a significant amount of work, attention to detail, and time. Then, at the end, it’s left to blow away in the wind (or even in some cases just swept up). I look at them as a reminder that sometimes, the effort alone is the value of any endeavor — the end product is just that, an end.
When you describe the sheer amount of effort involved in putting your photos together, only for them to sit on a hard drive or be published online, I think of all that you accomplished just to get to that point (physical, mental, and digital effort) — and I think there’s a serious value in that!
Woah, what an interesting perspective! Such an important thing to keep in mind. Thanks for that.
Strong essay, Erik. So glad to continue to follow along in your quest for self-actualization. Really! And adding philosophy and history into your hikes has been delightful. Don’t worry about the fixed deadline—that’s just another trap. However, I must admit, the negativity of your opening paragraphs left me a little concerned… Hang in there. We are counting on you as one of the ones who carries the light for us all!
Wow, Jonathan, that means so much to me! The negativity, I think, is accurate in the sense that I tried to convey my feelings about our ‘modern’ way of life and my attempts to break free from it that so far have led nowhere. I was trying to illustrate the necessity to change and evolve going forward. I hope that came through as well. Thanks for your support my friend!
Wow this was powerful stuff. Especially this line, "ensnared in a self generated spiderweb of policy spun by the arachnid of fear." It'll stick with me. And its a perfect summation of how people operate nowadays...driven by fear. The first few paragraphs reminded me of why and how I got into death work. I think it's admirable you're trying to carve your way through that dark forest, rather than stay on the easier road. I hope you find, or create, whatever purpose means the most to you! Purpose has always felt like a slippery trap....who decides what purpose is? The creators of that easy road? Or used? I think it's us...or I hope so anyway!!
I'd be down for whatever you write, so if you end up editing the format or frequency of your pieces here....awesome!! It's super tough sticking to a weekly deadline and I'm in awe you were able to do that!!
Yeah, in my line of work we have a mountain of policy, rules, mandates, etc. It makes everything we do infinitely more difficult just because of all the boxes we’ve created for ourselves that must be checked. And all of that is because someone somewhere screwed up, but people are too afraid to have a policy that just says “act reasonably.”
You’re right on in that we create our own purpose. But I do think that has to be taken in context with the roles that we are assigned and choose for ourselves. So yes, I’m trying to find a better path, but I still have to balance that with my responsibilities to my family, my chosen career, etc. I guess the purpose I’m looking for is a way to make the photography/writing/adventuring valuable enough to others to keep it a high priority.
Anyway, that you for your thoughts! Bouncing these ideas around is really helpful!!
Whoops, it's taken a while to reply to this..!
Of course- I dont mean to be flippant when I say "hooray go create your purpose, and all practical responsibilities be damned!" More like, how can we create purpose/meaning within the context of those chosen roles, as you so well articulated here in your comment.
I think a lot of that confusion over that nuance is what leads to a lot of folks in my generation feeling so lost...but who knows.
“And always pay taxes. Because your government is a generous master and only demands 40% of all of your efforts to hand out to special interests and to fund foreign wars.”
You must be doing well, Erik. The fed tax rate on $609K income is only 37%!
Ha! We rebelled against the British over a 3% tax, and that was long before the “temporary” income tax!
If we had some national consensus about what taxes are “for”, we’d all be more chill about it. Good luck with that!
True, but I’m not holding my breath!
“Having a weekly deadline for Field Notes posts has been incredibly helpful in holding myself accountable. However, it is an enormous amount of pressure. I’m not sure that I can sustain it much longer. Many of my essays have been rushed and my ideas not fully formed or implemented. I don’t like that. I’ll still try to publish essays as often as I can, but I want to take more time with them. I want them polished before I offer them. The same goes for the photography.”
100%! I think a rigid publication schedule is a good antidote to “procrastination” but toxic to deep creativity. Go with the flow and allow fallow periods to recharge the artist’s soul.
Great work this year, Erik! 👏👏
Thanks! I don’t know how it will go if I don’t hold myself to the schedule. I just don’t want to stress out about having to keep to it.
Right. That’s a dilemma without simple answers. Maybe setting the “schedule” publish points a bit farther apart (definitely not weekly for the kind of essays you’re doing)?
A beautiful essay! I’ve found Mark Nepo’s book, Drinking from the River of Light, to be helpful in figuring out how philosophy and art intersect. He comes from a Buddhist perspective but so much of it aligns nicely with Stoicism.
That sounds brilliant! I’ll definitely check it out. Thanks Lia!
The flame azalea! I was first introduced to it this past year during a bike ride at Tsali in early May, so around 1800’ elevation. I then saw a few blooming along the Bartram trail May 7, where it follows the gravel road between Wayah Rd at the power generation station and the surge tank- around 2900’. And then I saw them blooming along the Snowbird ridge at 4500+’ June 22. It led me to think their bloom time is very tied to elevation. The Robbinsville (2100’) Flame Azalea festival is held middle of June, so I assume that’s sometime around when they are expected to peak in the area.
Yeah, flame azalea and the catawba rhododendron are both spectacular, but the bloom dates are very dependent on elevation. I looked for the rhododendron in May one year in the Middle Prong Wilderness and it was way too early. I've found them in Shining Rock in early June, but these trips to the Smokies in mid/late June were perfect. Its very hard for me to judge, living about 3 hours south at 700-800ft.
Erik, I appreciated this recap! Scrolling through reminded me of all your essays I read in 2025. The other day, I took down your calendar and replaced it with a 2026 one. It was kind of sad but rest assured, I never throw out calnedars 😊
I felt your sense of disillusionment at the beginning of this post and I can totally understand. You do way more work than the average Substacker because you have to go take the photos and then work with them before you even start writing. I'm amazed that you've been able to keep up with a weekly post schedule!
Happy new year. I hope 2026 offers you some clarity in your photography journey.
Thanks Kristi! That post took on kind of a negative tone that I didn’t entirely intend. Don’t get me started on the calendar situation. It was such a shame. I spent a ton of time this year and created a beautiful custom calendar that I was really proud of. But the only site I could find that would allow me to offer it by drop shipping would not explain how to do that on their platform. And I would have been left to figure out shipping costs entirely on my own. It was just too much for me and the calendar never became a reality.
Your encouragement means a lot. I’m still working hard to offer meaningful photos and writing, just not sure what form or timing that will take.
Ugh, I'm sorry the calendar thing was so frustrating this time around. Online shit isn’t easy, is it!
Have you ever taken a couple of weeks off from posting to breathe and regroup?
Sort of, I guess. I re-published a couple of older pieces, so haven’t put out much new since finishing the Bartram series. That was good, because December is overwhelming lately!
December was totally overwhelming! I totally get it! And I entered the month with a killer flu. I'm glad 2025 is done, and we get a fresh start. I realize a calendar page doesn't make it fresh but the symbolism of a new year is legit.
I agree. It’s a frame of mind!